jasencomstock:

ouyangdan:

flatbear:

superhamish:

Why are LGBT movies always heartbreaking dramas?

I want an LGBT action movie.

Die Hard with A Dick In Your Mouth or something.

Uh oh kids this post is fucking HILARIOUS but this is something that legitimately pisses me off.

WHY CAN I NOT HAVE A GAY ACTION HERO. WHY.

It’s at the point now where if someone comes to me and says ‘Hey, you’re gay, here’s a gay movie you might like’ I will automatically ask them which character dies of aids. Which character falls in love with a straight character. Which character is victimized for their sexuality. And every time, I am fucking right.

I am so fucking sick of dramas. Even comedies with gay characters end up with some fucking heartbreaking result of their sexual preference. Don’t get me wrong, I am happy that there are some movies that accurately portrays how hard it is for people of all genders and sexualities, but IF I WANT TO KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO BE GAY, I WILL JUST…YOU KNOW…BE GAY.

All I want is a GREAT action star, a Jason Bourne, a John McClane, a Sidney Bristow or a Nikita who spends two and a half hours beating up terrorists  getting embroiled in international espionage plots, jumping out of planes and landing on tanks, punching, kicking, shooting and wrassling, then at the end of the movie he/she goes home to his nice duplex, eats the piece of quiche that his/her boyfriend/girlfriend left in the fridge for him/her, feeds the dogs and gets into bed, next to the woman/man she/he loves.

I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY THAT TAKES AWAY FROM THE OUTRAGEOUS ASS-KICKING SHE/HE PERPETRATED THROUGHOUT THE REST OF THE MOVIE. MUTUAL LOVE OF COCK/VAGINA DOES NOT IMPAIR YOUR ABILITY TO SHOW A MAN HIS BEATING HEART BEFORE HE DIES.

AUGH.

Flatbear, I have a special love for you. Srsly.

Every action movie is an LGBT movie.